


Birdie

by Mytumblrfandommess



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Eventual Smut, Historical References, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 13:58:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mytumblrfandommess/pseuds/Mytumblrfandommess
Summary: Prussia can't cope with his past; Canada can't stand to be forgotten by the others anymore. Can they safe each other?





	1. A freezing September night

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo!  
> Okay, so that's my first proper fanfiction and I hope you like it. I will try to update it frequently but I won't promise anything.  
> The next chapters will have more plot and I hope it will get exciting soon.  
> Constructive criticism is always welcome :)  
> 

The warm evening sun shines through the windows of the meeting room in Berlin and lightens  
Matthew's face. It was an exhausting day for all of the nations but Ludwig is still talking. The  
Canadian observes the people around him. The Italian brothers are sleeping and almost everyone  
stopped listening already. Matthew looks out of the window and watches a bird fly by. The yellow  
feathers are looking like they are burning in the light of the sunset. It sits down on the open window  
and chirps loudly as if it wants to remind everyone that it is too late to be still working. It seems like  
Ludwig thinks the same because he brings his speech to an end:  
“This meeting was long enough now, I want to invite you all to stay for a snack and one or two  
beer. Enjoy yourselves”, he says with a gentle smile and walks over to wake Feliciano up.  
Matthew stands up and leaves the room along with his brother who was already arguing about  
something with England. The yellow bird on the window sill follows him with his black round eyes  
before it flies away. Everyone gathers in a big room. There are no windows and the only light  
comes from big old looking chandeliers. A barkeeper gives out drinks and the promised snacks. The  
room fills and small groups are formed automatically. The Nordics sits down together, just as  
Russia gathers the other eastern Europe countries around him. Chatter and laughter fill the room and  
the shadows are moving on the walls.  
Matthew looks around trying to find his brother who walked away with Antonio a few minutes ago.  
The voices are everywhere, they are getting louder and louder, confusing him. Where is Alfred? He  
can't find him. Did his brother leave him? The sound of his surrounding seems to get louder and  
louder. Why can't everyone just shut up? The air gets thicker and Matthew clenches his fists. He has  
to get out. Now. He looks around hasty and finds the door to the balcony. The way feels to take  
ages. The Canadian pushes himself though groups of people, mumbling unheard excuses. He  
reached the door, panting. He breathes fast but still feels like suffocating. When he tried to push the  
door, it doesn't open. Matthew tries again and it finally works. He stumbles out into the cold  
numbness of the dark night. What the heck is wrong with me?, he asks himself over and over again  
while holding onto the balustrade. His eyes are turned towards the starry sky and then they travel  
over the shining city but he does not notice any of that. His hair is sticking a bit to his forehead. The  
yellow bird he saw earlier appears again. It chirps and flies around the building before sitting down  
on the balustrade. Mattbew smiles and looks at the bird. Something cool touches his arm and he  
winces back mumbling an excuse. Matthew have just decided not to think about it longer and to  
continue watching the bird, when he hears a strange laugh:  
“Kesesese... why are outside now when it's so cold?”, Gilbert Beilschmidt, the older brother of  
Ludwig, asks.  
Matthew slowly comes back into reality. He turns around and his purple eyes meet with the red ones  
of Gilbert. The Canadian is fairly surprised to see him. He can't remember seeing him at the recent  
meetings. In fact, he stopped seeing him regularly at them a year ago. Gilbert sometimes visited the  
parties after the meetings, mainly to see Antonio and Francis. Matthew tries to remember the few  
things he knows about the white-haired man. He likes drinking, obviously and he is at least as  
obnoxious as his big brother Alfred.  
Gilbert just stands there, waiting for a response of the man who just looks at him. It is obvious that  
he is lost in his thoughts but Prussia doesn't want to rush, although he notices the slight shiver and  
the goosebumps on the others arms. Alfred's brother was pretty stressed when came outside, which  
was very unusual because unlike Alfred, Matthew is calm and does never ever loose his smile. Until  
now. Gilbert wonders what happened to cause Matthew the distress.  
“Hey, are you sleeping?”, asks Gilbert after he got bored of waiting.  
Matthew snaps back into reality and says: “No, sorry, I guess I was lost in my thoughts”. A small  
blush spreads across his cheeks when he notices he was staring at the red eyes of the albino.  
A cold breeze hit them and causes both of them to shiver a bit because neither wore a jacket.  
“So why are you outside again?”, Gilbert repeats his question patiently.


	2. Gilbird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may have noticed, I can't write long texts so I try to make many short chapters.  
> I apologize that this chapter took so long but my girlfriend broke up with me which put me into something really serious but i hope it will be better soon.  
> Iwould be really happy about compliments, constructive criticism or comments in general :)

“Uhm, well... I guess I just wanted to get some fresh air... I hope I didn't make any problems”, Matthew says but his voice is a bit weak because of the cold and because of some reason, the lie doesn't pass his lips so easily as usual.  
The red eyes examines him as if they look for a sign of the lie but they couldn't find anything to prove it.  
“Even you will catch a cold if you stay outside without wearing something warm. And my awesome-radar told me that there is another reason why you came here”, Gilbert says and gives Matthew his red and warm woolen scarf, “What do you think of the idea that I'll buy us some drinks and you wait here?”  
The Canadian nods and smiles slightly when he wraps the warm scarf around him. The warmth makes him relax. It is like a shield against his own dark thoughts. He watches the Prussian leaving and secretly thinks that he will forget about him and just join his brother. It actually already was a miracle that they built such a conversation. No one he ever talked to besides his family would try to keep a conversation going that desperately. 'That's because nobody cares about you, stupid boy', a voice in the back of his head says. Matthew shakes his head but can't help to think about it. The times even Kuma forgets his name. His eyes shut; lost in the rapids of his thoughts and his hands grab the balustrade tightly.  
Meanwhile Gilbert walks through the groups of people trying to not get distracted by a half naked Antonio and a shouting Lovino. He keeps his mission in his head: Getting the handsome man outside a few drinks and finding out why his radar senses some irregularities. Commander Beilschmidt reaches the checkpoint of his mission. The bar. He orders two beers, obviously. Then he retreats to get to Matthew again.  
A pair of warm hands on his pull Matthew out of the depths of his mind. He opens his eyes again and look into bright red eyes.  
“Are you okay?”, Gilbert asks and sounds worried.  
Matthew just nods.  
“Why are you crying?”, Gilbert asks again.  
“Huh?”, Matthew touches his cheek and indeed, they are wet because of tears, “I don't know. Probably the wind.”  
Gilbert just nods although he puts it on the list 'I'm going to dig into that later'. With a gentle smile he gives one glass to the embarrassed Canadian. It is obvious that Matthew doesn't want to talk about that now.  
“Prost”, he says and then starts to drink shortly followed by Matthew.  
There is a moment of silence between the two men, only the indistinct chatter from the other nations and the traffic of Berlin disturbed it. In the distance there is a siren of an ambulance or a police car. The yellow bird appears from around the building and Gilbert offers him his hand to sit on but instead the bird chooses the shoulder of Matthew.  
“Not awesome”, Prussia says but doesn't look very disappointed, to be honest he instantly cheers up after he saw Mattie smiles towards the bird, “That's Gilbird, the most awesome bird you will ever find. Obviously the name was just a pure coincidence, I mean it fits well because he is just as awesome as I am but”, he coughs “as I said, pure coincidence”  
Canada laughs at the embarrassment of the former nation and says towards the yellow ball of fluff: “Pure coincidence”  
Both men start laughing at the voice full of sarcasm and even Gilbird's chirps sounded like a giggle. A few minutes later they finally calm down and Gilbert downs his beer like a professional.  
“I'll get a new one”, he says and disappears inside again. It takes a bit longer than the last time and Matthew stars to worry that Gilbert won't come back at all. Like everyone. 'They will forget you like everyone else', the voice in his mind says just as the door opens and white messy hair appears behind a bunch of glasses. They spend the evening chattering and drinking till both have rosy cheeks and are giggling like two high school girls.  
“I have a question, Mattie. It's okay that I call you Mattie since we are friends, isn't it?”  
Matthew nods, a bit puzzled that Gilbert already considers him as a friend.  
“So Mattie, you act really different than usually. Is it because of the alcohol, do I have to be careful when I give you awesome beer?”, Gilbert asks and sounds a bit worried.  
The smile on Matthews face disappears and his facial expression closes up but no word slips past his lips, partly because he just does not know a proper answer to it.  
Gilbert bites his lip noticing he shouldn't have said that.  
“I am sorry, that wasn't a good thing to say. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, ja?”, he tries to explain himself, “I think I understand why you are different out here, I underst-”  
“You don't understand me! Nobody does!”  
Gilbert wants to protest but Matthew turns away and storms inside. There is the sound of shattering glass and some confused or angry voices calling for Matthew. Gilbert just stared at the opened door.  
“I will help him..”


End file.
